Olisa Metuh and the Stretcher Strategy, By Ugo Egbujo

ABUJA (Sundiata Post) Olisa Metuh has tried everything.

He once bluffed. He refused to co operate with investigators. They got the permission of the court to keep him. Those he came with bowed, shook their bodies, made promises and left.

Then he learnt . He recanted . He chased his tale. He collected the money. His boss gave it to him to run some errand. He discharged his duties to man and God. He spat on the floor when they repeated his boss stole the money. He would promise to repay. That would let them see some contrition . Then they would open a window for him.

He didnt sleep well. His mind was ransacked by doubts. His lawyers came and listened , and contorted their faces. They bit their lips. How could you? They asked with their eyes.

He went back to the investigators. And did the unthinkable. He tore his statements and chewed the sheets. He had gone full circle.

He was arraigned in hand cuffs. Frustrations followed him everywhere. Others who came after him, played the script and left. They watched his drama from their homes. Some have paid only 20% of collected sums and took away 100% freedom.

He was charged for small and grave offenses. Panic set in. He tried to reach a bargain with prosecutors. They wanted a guilty plea. It was too late to walk away without a conviction, like the others.

Lekwanum ooo!

He called on his boss President Jonathan to come and help the court establish the truth. Humble Jonathan told him not to lead him to temptation. Jonathan put on his hat and asked Metuh for a billion naira.

Metuh reviewed his situation. And lost his swagger. He looked into the eyes of the Judge. He lost composure. His heart was filled with trepidation. The future looked less than certain.

Didn’t he think of decamping to the APC? We will wait for his book.

He grew sick of the process. And claimed illness whenever one could help. He could truly be ill. But stretchers , oxygen tanks and ambulances don’t always accompany the sick.

The judge thinks Metuh is a Nollywood apprentice.

Metuh’s lawyers are sick too. They withdrew one day, and returned the next day .

The court is now sick of all of them. It will see the case through , even if Metuh opts to live in a surgical theatre in the moon.

Metuh’s case could prove pivotal.

Stretchers have come to court a bit too often. And they have come to create nuisance, obstruct justice.

Politicians must be told the futility of taking medical refuges. But courts must be careful . It’s a tight rope. A man must be medically fit to understand court proceedings before he can be convicted. But a man can not procure a series of bogus medical certificates of ill health and avoid criminal trial the rest of his life.

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