One of the most fascinating things about God is how He decides who gets children.
As a Christian, I strongly believe that God is the giver of children. Even with medical advancements like IVF, I don’t think it can succeed without God’s approval.
Doctors themselves admit that they cannot fully explain why some couples succeed with IVF on the first try while others go through multiple failed attempts. Even science struggles to explain why a woman living in a slum can naturally conceive and deliver triplets, while another woman with access to the best medical care struggles to have even one healthy baby.
A woman who has kept herself chaste and honored her marriage may remain childless after a decade, while another woman with a history of multiple abortions easily gets pregnant within a year of marriage. A couple may have perfect medical reports, yet after years of trying, their home remains silent without the sound of a child’s footsteps. Some might whisper about supernatural causes, but whether one believes in them or not, the mystery remains.
These thoughts came to me when a younger friend of mine found out she was unexpectedly pregnant. She was in shock, even disturbed, and sought advice on how to process the news.
Bose, at 39, had already been through two marriages that ended because she couldn’t conceive. Both ex-husbands moved on, or so it seemed. Now, at 43, she went to the hospital for what she thought was persistent malaria, only to discover she was 16 weeks pregnant. The father? Her first husband, Ayo.
They had met again at an industry event in Abuja, where they realized they were staying at the same hotel. Ayo invited her to share his morning tea ritual, just like old times. One cup of tea led to another, and soon, Okafor’s Law came into play.
According to Okafor’s Law, once a man has been with a woman, he can always have her again. It may not be a law that everyone likes, but it is what it is. That morning, Bose and Ayo were together again, and somehow, what couldn’t happen in 11 years of marriage happened in a single encounter.
Bose had already given up on conceiving naturally and had started the process of adoption. She was extremely busy, which made her dismiss her frequent fever and exhaustion as stress or malaria. Should she have allowed herself to be drawn back to Ayo? How could she have known she was still ovulating? Perhaps she had been ovulating all along but had stopped paying attention. Or was it only Ayo’s sperm that could successfully fertilize her egg?
Unexpected pregnancies leave people in a whirlwind of emotions, with more questions than answers. How does Bose convince Ayo’s wife that this pregnancy wasn’t intentional? Should she tell Ayo at all? If she does, what does that make her—a single mother, a side chick, or a second wife?
The one certainty is that Bose will keep the pregnancy. This is a long-awaited baby, a miracle, no matter the circumstances of conception. She has been advised to take care of herself and let the future unfold as it will. It may not be easy, but when faced with such a gift, choices become limited.
Similarly, another woman, aged 51, missed her period two months after her newlywed daughter announced her pregnancy. She had irregular periods, sometimes only three or four times a year, and thought her childbearing years were over. But she and her husband, now about to become grandparents, were still active in their marital life. Now, she finds herself expecting a baby at the same time as her daughter.
What should she do? Attend antenatal clinics with her daughter? Or should she have an abortion and ask for God’s mercy afterward?
Life has a way of presenting choices that leave people at crossroads. When faced with an unexpected pregnancy, the question isn’t just about what to do next—it’s about accepting that some things are beyond human understanding.
