There is no doubt that mentorship is one of the most powerful tools for personal and professional growth. A robust mentor-mentee relationship can provide valuable guidance, insights, and support, enabling mentees to make knowledge-based career decisions and overcome challenges. However, building and nurturing this relationship requires intentionality, communication, and mutual respect from both parties. Here are some of the key elements that foster a productive and rewarding mentorship experience.
1. Setting Expectations and Clear Goals
There is a saying that “A long-lasting and strong house is determined by its foundation.” Therefore, the foundation of any successful mentorship is clarity of purpose. It is expected that both the mentor and mentee should define their goals and expectations from the beginning. Both parties should not hesitate to ask important and real questions that would help them know what the expectations are, how to go about fulfilling them and where to draw the lines when the need arises.
For instance, I remember a particular young man who wrote to me via one of my social media platforms and desired to be one of my protégés. It was not long after I accepted that I began to notice the way he would deviate from saying some words to me which were not aligning with someone who wanted to be mentored. In the end, it turned out he had fallen in love with me, according to him. I was dumbfounded, so I quickly asked him how long it had been since he started to fall in love with older women and whether or not his parents were aware. He said it had been a while. You can imagine such! I tried talking him out of engaging in such an act for a while, all to no avail. I had to cut ties with him while praying for him from afar.
Also, a Nigerian author, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, sought mentorship from veteran novelist Grace Ogot early in her career. They defined clear goals, as Adichie wanted to learn the nuances of storytelling, while Ogot aimed to support her growth in the literary world. This clarity ensured their sessions were productive and aligned with Adichie’s aspirations. In the same way, Oprah Winfrey began her career under the mentorship of veteran journalist Barbara Walters, who guided her through the intricacies of broadcast journalism. They established specific objectives for their mentorship, allowing Oprah to grow into the influential figure she is today.
The mentee may be looking for career guidance, skills development, networking opportunities or a completely different thing like my first example above, while the mentor may hope to share knowledge, develop leadership skills, or give back to their field. Defining these goals ensures that each session is productive and aligned with the mentee’s needs. Open communication about expectations also helps to prevent misunderstandings or misaligned goals down the line.
2. The Need to Establish Mutual Respect and Trust
Trust is the bedrock of any meaningful relationship on this planet, and mentorship is no different. For mentees to feel comfortable sharing their challenges, mistakes, or uncertainties, they must trust their mentors will respond with empathy and respect. Similarly, mentors should feel confident that their advice and feedback are valued.
For example, in Nigeria, former President Goodluck Jonathan often speaks about the importance of trust in mentorship. He credits his mentors, including late President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua, for fostering an environment where he could express his ambitions and concerns openly. This kind of trust allows mentees to feel comfortable sharing their challenges and uncertainties. In the West, Michelle Obama, at some point shared how her relationship with mentor and senior advisor Valerie Jarrett was built on trust. Valerie created a safe space for Michelle to express her fears and ambitions alongside fostering a bond that allowed her to thrive in her role as the then First Lady of the USA.
Trust is built through consistent communication, deep or active listening, and non-judgmental support. Respecting each other’s time and expertise – whether it is the mentor’s wealth of experience or the mentee’s fresh perspective, it fosters an open and constructive environment for both relationships to grow.
3. Prioritising Honest and Open Communication
Effective mentorship thrives through open and honest communication. Therefore, mentors should feel comfortable sharing their successes, mistakes and/or failures, while mentees should feel encouraged to ask relevant questions, seek clarification, and share their thoughts openly. Regular check-ins and feedback sessions help maintain this level of openness, allowing both parties to address any concerns or refine their approach.
Noteworthy is a Nigerian entrepreneur and co-founder of Flutterwave, Iyinoluwa Aboyeji, who attributes much of his success to his mentors, who encouraged candid conversations about business strategies and personal challenges like when the company had issues relating to transaction scandals and sexual harassment. Regular check-ins allowed him to address concerns and celebrate successes while fostering a growth mindset.
On a global scale, Sir Richard Branson emphasises the importance of open dialogue with his mentees. He regularly engages with young entrepreneurs to understand their visions and provide constructive feedback as well as highlighting how communication can bridge the gap between experience and ambition. Communication is, no doubt, the thread that ties every other element together while creating a platform for genuine understanding and development.
4. Encouraging Continuous Progress and Learning
A mentor-mentee relationship should be dynamic and focused on continuous learning for both parties. Mentors can share and offer insights and experiences and expose mentees to new ideas as well as challenges. Meanwhile, mentees often bring fresh perspectives, industry updates, and innovative thinking that can benefit mentors. This mutual learning approach not only makes the relationship more engaging but also ensures that both parties continue to grow. Also, mentors should guide their mentees towards skill development and encourage them to take on challenges, promoting resilience and self-confidence.
Nigerian filmmaker, Kunle Afolayan, has often credited his mentors, such as Tunde Kelani, for pushing him to explore different storytelling techniques and production methods. Their guidance helped him evolve as a filmmaker, illustrating that mentorship is a two-way street. And, in the West, Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, often shares how her mentorship relationship with Eric Schmidt, former CEO of Google, was mutually beneficial. While Eric offered invaluable insights on leadership, Sheryl brought fresh perspectives on women’s empowerment in the workplace.
5. Offering Constructive Feedback
I believe that one of the most valuable aspects of mentorship is feedback. However, for feedback to be effective, it should be specific, actionable, and delivered with care and love. Constructive feedback helps mentees understand their strengths and areas necessary for improvement while empowering them to reach their potential. Mentors should be extremely mindful of timing – choosing moments that allow mentees to reflect and act on their suggestions without feeling overwhelmed. Mentors should also choose timing that is not suggestive of anything negative. Similarly, mentees should remain open to feedback and willing to improve, seeing feedback as a growth opportunity rather than mere criticism.
In the realm of sports, legendary coach, John Wooden is renowned for his approach to constructive feedback. He would share specific observations after games, helping players recognize their strengths and weaknesses. This thoughtful approach empowered his mentees to grow without feeling overwhelmed, proving that effective feedback can foster resilience. A Nigerian writer and educator, Sefi Atta, emphasises the importance of constructive criticism in her mentorship of young authors. She offers specific observations about their writing, helping them identify areas for improvement whilst also highlighting their strengths.
6. Maintaining Adaptability and Flexibility
We should always remember that mentorship is not a one-size-fits-all relationship; each pairing will have its unique dynamics. As circumstances evolve, so should the mentorship relationship. Mentors and mentees should be open to adapting their goals, meeting schedules, and communication styles to fit changing needs. Whether it’s transitioning from a formal mentorship to a more casual check-in routine or shifting focus based on the mentee’s growth, flexibility ensures that the relationship remains relevant and beneficial over time.
For instance, when Richard Branson started mentoring young entrepreneurs through his Virgin Group, he discovered that each mentee had unique needs and circumstances. For some, a structured approach was beneficial, while others thrived in a more casual setting. By being flexible and adaptable with his mentorship style, Branson was able to provide personalised guidance that resonated with each mentee. In Nigeria, actress and filmmaker, Genevieve Nnaji, has taken on the role of mentor for aspiring actresses, adjusting her mentorship style to fit their individual goals and experiences. This adaptability allows her mentees to flourish in a competitive industry.
7. Fostering Self-sufficiency and Independence
As we all know, a mentor’s role is to guide and support, but not to dictate or solve every problem for his or her mentee. Effective mentors encourage their mentees to make independent decisions and solve challenges on their own while pushing them to build confidence and resilience. The truth is that mentees who are nurtured towards independence are better prepared for real-world scenarios and decision-making processes. The benefits of guidance and independence are that it helps mentees become self-sufficient while knowing they have support whenever and if the need arises.
In her role as a mentor, Maya Angelou often encouraged her mentees to take risks and trust their instincts. For instance, when one of her mentees hesitated to submit her work for publication, Maya urged her to take the leap, which built confidence in the mentee, illustrating how mentors can nurture self-sufficiency while maintaining a supportive appearance.
In conclusion, as discussed above, the lasting impact of a strong mentor-mentee relationship cannot be overemphasised. Building and nurturing a mentor-mentee relationship is a mutually rewarding journey that can lead to lasting personal and professional growth. With trust, communication, mutual respect, and a commitment to learning, unlearning and relearning, both mentors and mentees can unlock new potentials.
At its best, mentorship is more than a temporary guide; it is a powerful relationship that shapes futures, builds connections and fosters confidence for all involved. This approach to mentorship ensures that both mentors and mentees grow and find value while creating a meaningful and lasting impact for both parties.
I believe this subject matter was worth your read. Feel free to share your thoughts with me in the comment section or via email (vivianchikadaniel@gmail.com), as well as LIKE and SHARE with your networks and loved ones. See you in the next editions where I will begin to feature those I and many experts out there consider worthy to bear the noble title of “Role Models”. Remain blessed. Let’s live and let us love one another. #OneLove
