Anonymous
My wife and I were in Hawaii for a wedding where my wife was to be a bridesmaid for her friend. Clues about a possible affair had been slowly starting to come together prior to this trip, but i chose to ignore them probably because I didn’t want to believe she would ever cheat on me. She left our hotel to go to a pre wedding celebration with the Women in the bridal party, and I was left alone in our hotel room…alone with her lap top. I had been alone with her lap top and phone before but always fought the urge to snoop; again, probably because I just didn’t want to know. This time however I gave in. I went through her lap top and all her emails and files for about an hour. I found nothing. I was actually happy and so incredibly relieved that I found no signs of an affair that I remember laughing out loud and actually had tears in my eyes. What happened next was strange and something I swear by to this day. I was closing the top of her laptop when a voice in my head that didn’t sound like my voice said “check the archives.” I had a very basic level or ordinary computer knowledge. I swear I had absolutely no idea, especially back then, what a computer archive was or where to find it. but I listened to the voice and reopened the lid and started a new search. I found it almost right away. Google had archived two of her recent long chats with him. They were devastating. Explicit details of recent sexual encounters and “I love you’s” etc. They called themselves “Bonnie and Clyde”- their adorable pet names. The affair seemed to have had been on going for the previous several months. In the conversation I read they also mocked me and even gave me a nick name: “Goliath.” I guess because I’m 6ft 3 270lbs. About 130lbs more than him and several inches taller. They also were kind enough to give his poor wife of 30 plus years two Nick names: “my owner” and “velcro.”
After shaking and rereading and rereading etc. I regained some composure and then anger flooded in. I called my wife on her cell and screamed “who is he?” She immediately denied everything and claimed that she had no idea what I was talking about etc. I began to read the conversation I had found outloud to her with emphasis on the really romantic part where he said he couldn’t wait to be “in her mouth and cunt again.” She stopped denying and started naturally lying telling me the affair was over that it had ended months ago. etc. The computer chat however was dated to just the previous week before our trip. She was panicked. I screamed again “who the Fuck is he?” She said she couldn’t talk because everybody was standing around her and said we’d talk when She got back to our room. She arrived an hour later, and before she even had the door closed I demanded again to know who the fuck “Clyde” was. It was Then she said the most hurtful thing I think anyone has ever said to me in my life.
In context I just found out my wife, the woman I loved had been unfaithful. I just read detailed graphic explicit (with all the words) conversation about the sex they had been having, and I’m standing there before her devastated.
And The very first thing she said to me is: “please, don’t hurt him.” That is, Her very first thought, her very first concern was for…him…
He was 3,000 miles away.
I tried to find a flight out that night away from her and away from it all. There were none. I passed the hotel bar but thankfully kept my sobriety if not for another day. She’d taken everything else I wouldn’t let her take that as well.
I tried to hang myself that night with my favorite neck tie in the bathroom. The shower rod was strong enough. I was surprised at how easy and painless it was if I just wouldn’t struggle and went with it. A few seconds later or maybe a minute I could feel myself going unconscious and everything going bright, but I chickened out and put my feet down. It was for the best as I also didn’t want to ruin the pending Wedding with such a selfish self centered act.
It’s been 9 years and 4 months since that moment when I heard those words and it still hurts as though it happened yesterday.
“Clyde” it turned out, was a much older man. 67 to her 33 years of age. A doctor and her mentor at the large city hospital where they both worked. My wife was a resident. I recalled that I had even met him once at her residency graduation party where, get this, I had dumbfoundedly Made them stand next to one another so I could take a picture of them together. This was about a month before I found out about the affair. How could I have been so incredibly ignorant…
They had created several secret email accounts on hotmail, gmail, fastmail and multiple blogs on WordPress and typepad. They even set up a damn Logitech account for video sex. He had multiple cell phones just to be able to secretly communicate with her without his wife finding out.
I also found out that over the course of that previous year they had had sex in the callroom of the hospital where they worked, in a near by parking garage, outside in the woods at a pond, various hotels, his house including in the very bed his wife slept and in my own bed. And Forgive me for being very graphic, but years prior in some silly conversation my wife and I were having about hypotheticals, I once told her that the one absolute thing I could never forgive, the one thing that would hurt me the most would be if she ever swallowed for another man. She admitted she had done this for him but then insanely tried to mitigate this fact by saying “ but it was only a small amount”…and “I had to blow him for a long time because It was the only way I could get him really hard” She actually thought by telling me these things it would make me feel better…are you fucking kidding me.
Since then to this very day I have the same recurring nightmare. Usually about dozen times a year (just last night which led me to searching Quora for infidelity and love questions to see how others survived the post infidelity experience). It’s a frequent Hell dream. I’m walking through the woods. I come out on a path to a parking area. My wife’s car is there. They are inside having sex. I scream but they can’t hear me. I go to pound on the windows but my hands make no impact. I can see them. They can’t see me. Like Scrooge caught in the shadows. I scream but can’t be heard. I punch but it’s like punching the air. I wake up sobbing soaked in sweat. Then stay awake. Sometimes for days. I’m Afraid to sleep. afraid the nightmare is still there waiting to start again and again. And it is. Like a bad movie on rerun on late cable.
Source: Quora