In everyone’s life, parents play a central role in shaping their children’s lives. Beyond providing care, love, and support, they serve as the first and most influential role models. Children learn and develop essential values, behaviours, and attitudes by observing and imitating their parents. Therefore, a parent’s actions, behaviours, and attitudes shape their children’s understanding of the world and their place in it. Whether consciously or unconsciously, children mirror their parents in ways that impact their emotional development, social behaviour, and future success.
Although I have yet to begin the beautiful journey of raising my immediate family, I speak authoritatively because situations have always made me act as one – a bonafide parent or ‘small mama’ to many, both older and younger ones. Even as I am supposed to be the last born of my family, I have had to make certain decisions that will impact us one way or another either positively or negatively. Above all, I am privileged to have many parents who associate with me and vice versa, very closely. So, I see many parenting styles and, on many occasions, have had the opportunity to mediate between some of my proteges and their parents.
Imagine a situation where a very young girl (15 years old) came to me to borrow some money. According to her, she owed one of her classmates which made the other seize her telephone and she did not know how to tell her parents. I had to counsel her to summon the courage to do the needful – tell her parents – except if she wanted me to do it on her behalf. I monitored her to see if she did so and educated her on the importance of being free with her parents to the point she could tell them anything.
Effective parenting involves recognising the significance of role modelling and intentionally cultivating positive qualities in fostering the growth of the next generation. For instance, by demonstrating honesty, integrity, and compassion, parents teach their children the importance of ethical behaviours. Children are more likely to adopt these values when they see them practised consistently.
However, some of the best ways parents can influence children as their role models are highlighted below.
Building Character and Values
Parents are the primary source of influence on the moral development of their children which helps them to learn the best core values, good traits and ethics. Long before children encounter formal education or other societal influences, they observe how their parents handle everyday situations – whether it is how they react to challenges, treat others, or manage conflicts. For instance, if parents demonstrate empathy and respect in their actions, children are likely to absorb and replicate these traits.
Children naturally internalise what they see at home. A parent who models integrity, justice, fairness, and kindness sends a strong message about what is acceptable and important in life. These lessons form the foundation of the child’s character and can help them make decisions that align with positive values later in life.
Cultivating Self-Esteem and Confidence
Understand that children’s self-esteem and confidence are often built or broken based on their relationship with their parents. Parents who show consistent support, encouragement, and love, help children feel valued and capable. Conversely, parents who are overly critical, neglectful, or dismissive may unintentionally harm their child’s self-worth. Parents’ behaviour and attitudes significantly impact their child’s self-esteem. Positive affirmations on children or those who look up to you, encouragement, and support, foster confidence and self-assurance.
Positive role models are those who validate a child’s efforts, help them navigate failure constructively, celebrate their successes, and do not turn away during their moments of failure. When parents model resilience in the face of adversity or exhibit a growth mindset, children learn that setbacks are part of life and can be overcome. This empowers them to approach challenges with confidence and belief in their abilities.
Encouraging Healthy Habits and Behaviours
The habits children develop in infancy are often carried into adulthood. Therefore, parents who model healthy behaviours – such as regular exercise, balanced consumption of meals, and responsible decision-making – in turn, provide their children with a template for leading a well-balanced life. On the other hand, unhealthy habits such as poor time management, lack of discipline, or even negative coping mechanisms can also be passed down to children.
For instance, children whose parents maintain a routine of physical activities are more likely to engage in sports and stay active. Likewise, parents who show respect for education and life-long learning often inspire their children to value and prioritise academic achievements. By modelling self-care, discipline, and a healthy work-life balance, parents set a strong example of how to lead a well-rounded life.
Guiding their Emotional Development and Social Skills
No doubt, parents also serve as emotional role models for their children, demonstrating how to manage and express feelings, as they watch how their parents handle stress, conflict, disappointment, and joy levels. A parent who demonstrates emotional intelligence – remaining calm in stressful situations, communicating effectively, and showing understanding – teaches their children how to navigate their own emotions and build healthy relationships with others. For example, when parents resolve conflicts peacefully or manage anger constructively, they teach their children to do the same.
These social and emotional skills are quite crucial for forming positive relationships and for success in various aspects of life – from friendships to careers. Parents model emotional regulation, receptiveness, and communication skills whilst influencing their child’s emotional intelligence. For instance, when parents demonstrate social skills like cooperation, respect, openness, and responsibility, their children will develop indispensable life-long skills, such as sharing, taking turns, and collaboration.
Creating a Blueprint for Healthy Relationship
The way parents interact with each other and with others sets the blueprint for how children approach relationship. A loving, reverential, and communicative relationship between parents creates a positive model for children’s future friendships, partnerships, and marriages. Conversely, constant conflict, disrespect, or neglect in the home can have lasting negative effects on a child’s expectations and behaviour in their relationships.
Parents who demonstrate admiration, thoughtfulness, and collaboration in their interactions teach their children the importance of these values. This can foster emotionally mature adults who know how to maintain healthy and supportive relationships.
Academic and Career Motivation
There are no two ways about the fact that parents’ attitudes toward education and work influence their child’s motivation one way or another. Likewise, representing values for knowledge and hard work encourages children to pursue their academic and professional goals.
Importance of Consistency
Last but not least, you may think that this is insignificant but consistency between words and actions, across all phases of life, reinforces positive role modelling. Children are more likely to adopt values when they see parents practising what they preach.
Undoubtedly, the place of parents as role models to their children and its importance comes with its challenges as well.
Challenges
Nowadays, we all know that modern parenting challenges are prevalent. They basically revolve around busy schedules, career parents who have no time to attend to their loved ones, technology, internet distractions, etc. which can hinder effective role modelling.
The Solutions to overcome these can simply be to:
a.) prioritise having quality time with your children.
b.) engage in activities that promote important and shared values.
c.) practise self-reflection or self-assessment, self-improvement and self-acceptance at every point with yourself and your children.
In Summary, parents, as the first role models in a child’s life, wield an immense influence on their development. Through their actions, behaviours, and attitudes, they impart lessons on values, self-esteem, habits, and emotional intelligence which trickles down on their lives and overall relationships.
By being conscious of the impact they have, parents can decide whether or not to play fundamental roles in shaping the future of their children and, by extension, society as a whole. In essence, the more positively parents embody the traits they wish to see in their children, the greater the likelihood that the next generation will grow up to be compassionate, confident, and well-rounded individuals on this planet.
I hope this piece was worth your read. Feel free to send your thoughts to me in the comment section or via my email address, as well as LIKE and SHARE with your networks and loved ones. See you in the next editions. Remain blessed. Let’s live and let us love one another. #OneLove
