This morning, as the echoes of my recent birthday lingered in the air, I found my mind ablaze with reflections.
Unbeknownst to my conscious self, the recesses of my subconscious were engaged in diligent reflection, conducting an inventory of the odyssey traversed thus far. I discovered my thoughts wandering back to the days of yore, characterised by curiosity and speculation, when the shape of my adult life remained a nebulous construct.
Much like my contemporaries back then, my aspirations fixated on the opulence of stately mansions, sleek automobiles, and the myriad trappings that ostensibly bespoke exclusivity and, one hoped, commanded respect. Yet, in this moment of introspection, gratitude fills my heart. Standing on the precipice of materialising those lofty aspirations today, what captivates my awareness is the poignant recognition that, upon summiting the metaphorical peak, the ecstasy of achievement appears diminutive when juxtaposed against the exhilaration that accompanied the entire trajectory.
The surge of adrenaline that coursed through my veins upon conquering a significant milestone now looms in my memory as a transient crescendo, rapidly supplanted by a novel array of challenges. The zenith of triumph, once ascended, unravels itself as a mere stepping stone, and the erstwhile euphoria that animated the ascent yields to the advent of a renewed deluge of prospects and impediments. But I am not alone.
In 1997, the prolific American actor, film producer, and screenwriter Matthew Page Damon, heralded by Forbes as one of its bankable stars at the age of 27, achieved an extraordinary milestone: he secured his first Academy Award for Best Screenplay with “Good Will Hunting.” Yet, what followed his Oscar victory is a tale of profound reflection.
Seated on his sofa, Damon cast his gaze upon the prestigious accolade, prompting a soul-stirring realisation. The contemplation of tirelessly chasing such recognition, only to grasp it in the twilight of life, stirred Damon’s emotions. He shared, “Imagine chasing that, not getting it, and then getting it finally in your 80s or your 90s with all of life behind you and realising what an unbelievable waste of your life. It can’t fill you up. If that’s a hole that you have, that won’t fill it.”
The resonance of my personal journey and Damon’s post-Oscar revelation extend far beyond our personal experiences. It echoes the sentiments of numerous illustrious and affluent individuals who, having pursued wealth and acclaim, discovered that the attained success fell short of the profound fulfillment they envisioned. Damon eloquently asserts that, as he personally encountered, achieving such goals doesn’t bridge the existential void within.
The shoreline reflected in the title of this piece is a potent metaphor for our goals, dreams, and aspirations. It represents the culmination of our efforts, the point where we anticipate finding fulfillment and success. As we gaze toward this destination, it is easy to be consumed by the allure of what lies ahead, imagining the satisfaction that awaits us on that distant shore. However, the journey itself, the undulating waves, and the uncharted waters are where the true essence of life’s pearls is discovered.
Consider the analogy of climbing a mountain. While reaching the summit might be the ultimate goal, the climb is where individuals build physical strength, mental fortitude, and a connection with the natural environment. The view from the top is undoubtedly breathtaking, but it is the memories of the challenging ascent, the camaraderie with fellow climbers, and the perseverance through difficult conditions that make the journey memorable and valuable.
Furthermore, the journey often involves unexpected detours and discoveries that contribute to its richness. Life is unpredictable, and the path to a goal is no exception. The ability to adapt and find value in unexpected turns is a skill that the journey hones. These detours may lead to new passions, friendships, or insights that one might never have encountered if solely focused on the destination.
In the realm of personal relationships, the journey is where connections deepen and intimacy grows. Whether it’s a friendship, romantic relationship, or familial bond, shared experiences and challenges strengthen the fabric of relationships. The destination, in this context, may represent milestones like marriage or a long-term partnership, but it is the day-to-day journey of mutual support, shared joys, and overcoming obstacles that truly defines the richness of the relationship.
However, it is essential to acknowledge that not all journeys are inherently positive or transformative. Some paths may be laden with hardship, pain, and adversity. In such cases, the value of the journey lies in the strength and resilience developed in facing and overcoming these challenges. The journey becomes a testament to one’s ability to endure, learn, and emerge stronger on the other side.
This is, however, an invitation to reflect on our resilience and adaptability as individuals. Not every wave in life’s ocean is smooth, and storms are inevitable. It is during these tumultuous times that the most profound pearls are often revealed. Overcoming adversity, learning from failures, and navigating through challenges contribute to the resilience that defines a well-lived journey. The pearls of resilience, forged in the face of difficulties, are enduring treasures that stay with us long after the storms have passed.
The idea of collecting pearls in the journey’s wake emphasises the importance of mindfulness and presence. In the relentless pursuit of goals, it is easy to overlook the beauty and significance of the present moment. There is need to encourage individuals to be fully engaged in the journey, to appreciate the nuances of each experience, and to derive meaning from the process rather than fixating solely on the outcome.
This piece is about a paradigm shift in how we perceive and approach life. It invites us to recognise that the journey itself is a vast ocean of experiences, and the pearls are not confined to a singular destination. By embracing the richness of the journey, being mindful of the present, and valuing the diverse pearls scattered along the way, individuals can cultivate a more profound and fulfilling life. Life’s journey is not just about reaching the shore; it is about savouring the pearls in every ripple and wave, creating a mosaic of experiences that define the true essence of a well-lived life.
But beyond the pursuit of wealth, accolades, and fame, what should be our ultimate goal? Well, Matt Damon also presented an alternative perspective. “When we were crafting ‘Good Will Hunting,'” Damon revealed, “Ben (Affleck) and I always aimed to genuinely love it. We would say, ‘Even if it’s just a tape on our mantel that no one ever watches, we want to love it.’ We inadvertently stumbled upon a remarkably wise approach, which is to derive most of the rewards from the work itself.”
Our aim should be to reach a point where the act of doing the work becomes the victory, and everything else becomes supplementary. Placing emphasis on finding satisfaction in the process and recognising the intrinsic value of the work itself should take precedence in our endeavours.
•Agbo is the author of ‘Black Grit, White Knuckles: The Philosophy of Black Renaissance
