By Srinath Nalluri
Sometimes,
You have to wait.
Most of the farmers in and around my village grow sugarcane.
During Dec-Jan period, they harvest and transport the produce to a sugar factory in the nearby town.
So during this period, it is not very uncommon to find a fleet of sugarcane carts on the roads.
So , one foggy night of January, when I was on the way to my village in a public bus, the driver noticed a cart ahead of him.
The cart was loaded like this.
What is the most valuable lesson you learned about relationships?Srinath Nalluri, Wisdom SeekerAnswered Jun 6, 2019 · Author has 243 answers and 10.2m answer views
Sometimes,
You have to wait.
Most of the farmers in and around my village grow sugarcane.
During Dec-Jan period, they harvest and transport the produce to a sugar factory in the nearby town.
So during this period, it is not very uncommon to find a fleet of sugarcane carts on the roads.
So , one foggy night of January, when I was on the way to my village in a public bus, the driver noticed a cart ahead of him.
The cart was loaded like this.
Given the straight-narrow road, the driver couldn’t overtake it. He had no choice than to follow it slowly till the next-turn came.
And, all through this stretch, the driver drove snail-pacingly. He got irritated and annoyed beyond limits that he kept honking madly and shouting abuses at the bullock-carter.
Now—
Can he do anything to solve the situation?
Cannot.
Is it the fault of the bullock-carter?
May not be. As he would say that he has equal right to use that road.
Even if the bullock-carter is to be blamed, does it solve the mess?
No.
Then is there any point in honking and shouting in this whole episode?
No.
So what should he do?
Wait.
This situation happens in our relationships too.
People don’t behave as you want them to.
For example,
- You eagerly call your wife to tell about your promotion and hear her excitement. But she doesn’t attend your call as she is busy consoling hr friend.
- You narrate the funniest incident at your workplace to your friend, hoping to see her laugh. But she doesn’t even pay attention to what you are saying as she is in a bad mood.
- Your friend postpones the meet-up time for the third time as his manager suggests some more changes in his slides.
In all such situations,
There is reason for their behaviors. They are not wrong.
Yet it will anger you. It will frustrate you.
But if you choose to stay silent, not take them seriously and give space for other person to come back to their normal zone, then it is a sign of maturity.
You cannot always control people and steer them towards you against their moods and reflexes.
Sometimes, you have to let them be and accept that the sole purpose of their lives not to keep you entertained or happy.
Most of us have this habit. When we are running late and the lift is not yet there, we press the button multiple times. We clearly know that pressing the button twice or thrice doesn’t bring down the lift faster.
Yet we do it.
Now what if that button is a living person. And he realises that you are pushing him anxiously without understanding the situation and expecting him to do something he is not capable of? It only hurts him more and creates a rupture in the relationship.
Source: Quora