By TITI ADENUGA
I grew up hearing Ibadan is the biggest city in West Africa, I don’t know how true that is, but I can attest that that city is just different. It is a city with all the characteristics of a small town.
In Ibadan unlike most cities, absent is that indifference to others and focus on self. Bringing up a child is still a communal effort. The whole city is in on the act to chastise you and make you tow the line. They are law abiding until they are not.
Their price control is unspoken and second to none. If any trouble is going to erupt in the West of Nigeria, keep your eye on Ibadan, it is worth any government’s time to keep it’s eye and keep checking the pulse of Ibadan, there is a reason it’s nickname is “Wild Wild West”.
People residing in Lagos look down on Ibadan. They have no clue the people in Ibadan believe they are bat shit crazy and should not be fraternised with. It’s like new money and old money with their contempt for each other. The old saying is probably true, poor is flashy, new money is loud, old money is silent.
Ibadan is definitely riddled with intellectuals and old money. Walk with me a while, let me tell you about Ibadan.
First, they build massive mansions in Ibadan always with a large garden for children to play. So there will be this old couple in a massive house and Mama is selling a few things probably out of the garrage. You will ring the bell for ages before she suffles out to the “provision store”, you dare and question mama on your wait and she will quietly hand you back your money and issue a ban on you. Don’t come back. Mama has opened that shop to chat with people and have something to do since she has retired probably as a head teacher or matron or lecturer but definitely from an illustrious career and the children have flown the nest. This shop is mama’s in to hear all the gossip in the neighbourhood, it’s not about money. Take your attitude and go.
Please, just increase your price in Ibadan. There is no discussion o, no, they just eliminate that product from their life. Sense will soon fall upon you.
The Cinema house tried Ibadan people, immediate boycott, they should have asked Coca-Cola who took that stance before them.
First, UI students banned Coke from the campus. Pepsi and Sprite from now on in was their rebellious cry.
Ha! Students are a big market so Coca-Cola disregarded their ban. Immediately, the Coca Cola truck drove in, it was impounded, the rest was history. Their stand is simple, we will not pay ridiculous prices, try Lagos next door but not here.
In Ibadan, you are supposed to walk short distances, not take a bus or a cab, just walk.
I took a bus as a student to what the other passengers perceived as a short distance, they adviced me to tell my father to buy me a white horse that is I was a spoilt, extravagant child. Please note, I don’t know these people giving me unsolicited advice from Adam.
Swapping stories with my friend Obiageli Okezie Smith, she told me her experience. She actually tried to charter the cab. In Ibadan, the cabs until pretty recently were held together by rust, we were convinced, they went to the scrap yards to salvage these rust heaps. But cab drivers in Ibadan for the longest time always carry four passengers and drop them.
Now Oby wanted to pay for all four passengers and she will be the only one in the cab. The cab owner asked her how big is her bottom. Only her, the whole cab. He told her to get down, he wasn’t going anywhere with her. But just when you are about to give up on them as being backward, they show you the stuff of which they are made.
The dictator Abacha tried to have a political rally in Ibadan. Note, he had lived in Ibadan as head of the battalion there. He probably thought he had it in the bag. Álápán shànpá, I don’t know if I got that spelling right but that is one of the most reverred masquerade they have in that neck of woods, the masquerade came out to support Abacha. Mistake! Huge mistake! Ibadan people were ready on the day of the rally.
They came with whips. To beat out the madness in those gathering to support continued armed forces rule. They whipped the masquerade into next week. Their stance is if you don’t respect yourself and acquire sense, we will help you get some. To summarise, the rally never was.
To start off, Lagos people served snacks at receptions, only finger food o, they were forming posh, someone had gone for oyinbo party with hors d’oeuvres and thought it was the way forward, it was all the rage in Lagos. Ibadan people looked at them askance. The jéun kòku, eat and die reception is an Ibadan thing. Why would you expect people to stay for ages in church or mosque for a couple getting married or any event, then feed them snacks. Ibadan people continued their time honoured tradition of party jollof rice, fried rice, mói mói, ábulá áti pèpèlo receptions. Lagos soon fell in line.
A girlfriend recently told me Yoruba people are social moslems, five times a day prayers? Yoruba people do one major one for the entire day. Don’t drink. They didn’t tell you they are Prophet Mohammed, they only said they are moslems. Something is happening in your church. I will go with you now, you are big in my heart. Sé ádurá, kin só ámin. Supply the prayers, I will supply the Amens. Only the Yoruba have a saying that I can break my fast with pork, mō lé fi èlèdè jè sári, it’s not your business what I do. None is more the social moslem than Ibadan, my mum told me that one year working in UCH, they said Moslems should work on Christian holidays and Christians work on Moslem holidays, Ibadan people immediately went on strike until public holidays were for all. Nonsense! Don’t start bad ting o, we go about eating in each other houses on different holidays. Besides every family has its full compliment of both Christian and Moslem adherents.
Again Ibadan people are contrary and rude. When you think Nigerians are rude, Ibadan people raise the bar again and again.
Ibadan is cosmopolitan, somehow foreigners find their way to Ibadan and stay. Whether as lecturers or business people. But my advice to you is learn Yoruba to live comfortably in Ibadan. They see no reason to change their language or mode of living to accommodate you. You came to meet us here, you decided to stay, we will not speak English to oblige you. Yoruba is the lingua franca around here, get used to it. We had Jews, Irish nuns, people from the Caribbean all living on the same street with us in Ibadan. The University always seems to attract people from all nations. And children wake up at 6.30am, have a shower, have family prayers, eat breakfast and still get to school for 8am which is why Ibadan people say, you will give birth, rear the child, send your child forth in matrimony and you will still be stuck in Lagos traffic. Their byword is Ékó for show, awón árá Ékó and believe me, it is no compliment!😆