Today in the midst of all that is going on we wait for an answer, a way, a place. We hope that we get there and that we make it. Then again and again we do not. Things don’t pan out, hope that rose falls back down again. Our team loses, the person dies, the evil persists, lack sustains, the good is minuscule and the bad enormous.
Then your heart aches as it races and the Faith that loomed so big, suddenly deflates like a balloon with a harsh leak. Faith holds, glues, replenishes, resets, can it leak? What then is Faith, a WHO?
I have found that I am less inclined to want to belong or participate or be particularly close to anything or anyone. I am content with my connections. I desire my innermost thoughts more than outward conversations. Perhaps because they seem embellished, bogus and too slimy, so much so that I cannot quite put it to words. But in my mind I find clarity, depth, details. I find things that get uncovered, displayed in their raw form. I can then make up my mind about them without the benefit of inputs.
Have you ever considered that we live on the margins? Life and death, hope and distress, joy and sadness, freedom and constraint, lack and abundance and all the opposites that should not attract. When you think you are good or high be careful because the better you are and the higher you go, a misfortune or fall could be significant.
There were four of them, two had it, two didn’t. Two seemed ready, two weren’t. But that was not the criterion for being there. It had nothing to do with what one had or how ready they were, it had everything to do with time. Life is a gift on a timer, isn’t it? So, all four of them made it to that point, two had things in common and the other two had things in common and all four had things in common. All four were different, at every permutation and combination of these four you could see things that tell you more about them. After that, did they go their separate ways or just moved on?
Avarice, avarice, it’s nothing but avarice. You’d think avarice was a person, alive and indomitable, like it walked with big shoes and carried a big stick to subdue any that would resist or vex it. But avarice does not typically do that, it is led by you, subtle but persistence. It is a nod here, a glance there and a smile whenever. It comes in crawling as the eye overcomes the mind and the mind impresses the heart with an infatuation so deep, it gives in. Then Avarice is born, grows and guilty as charged. It takes form and devours every decent thing and the consumed is left green!
Romance; that thing that flutters the heart and shakes the mind. That with Grace wages war on all that draws near. The war of comparison and measures, the war of expectation and fear of disappointment, the war of permissions, the war of truth and the hurt of deceit. Romance is bound by circumstances, its exit cocooned in nerves. It is fidgety and strong all at once, when mature it is romantic to contemplate, when it is young it is perfect in imperfections. Some crave it, some not, most are tentative, how are you?
Making the grade was the aim, the only one wasn’t it? Work and study, focus, sleep, eat, then do more and more. The grade represents freedom from one place, it can bring elevation to a new place. Sometimes it allows you remain, barely acknowledging your belongingness. It sets you up into the mysteries of making that mark within completers. Hollow or not, congratulations are congratulations, they applaud your emergence, hard work, notice or whatever your grade may bring. Making it is also complex, you can hang by a thread make it, make it with margin, make it in the technicality of the it, or be robust in categorisation. Making the grade can mean everything or nothing at all. When all the margins are accounted for, we can sometimes breathe again. Making the grade can sometimes lead you into the next cage!
Finally, it is all in Faith, all I can say is that, I am aspiring in all things…still!
About Ngozi Bell
Take a listen to this podcast Say It Skillfully® OUR VOICES – Ngozi & Okezue Bell, Carpe Diem! Tuesday, April 5, 2022 (voiceamerica.com)
Inspiration, Hard Work, Innovation. These three foundational elements anchor Ngozi’s core belief that manifesting the extraordinary is always within reach. Inspired by her mother A.C.Obikwere, a scientist and author, she learned the privilege of living at the edge of important encounters and dedicating herself to robust and perpetual learning. Ngozi’s background is a combination of Physics, Engineering, Venture Capital/Private Equity, regulations, and business where she has managed over $1B in cumulative revenue. Ngozi is a speaker, storyteller, and writer on a diverse set of topics including AI, iDLT, ML, Signal Processing, iOT, women, entrepreneurship and more. She contributes regularly to VOA, has been a TEDx speaker and is published on tech and non-tech platforms. She is a champion of STEM, women, youth, art and the Africa we must engage. Ngozi is an adjunct professor of Physics and management with work
experience in Asia, Europe, Africa, Middle East, and North America. She is a founder of a number of a number of enterprises and host of the podcast Stem, Stocks and Stews (https://anchor.fm/stemstocksstews-podcast).